CONFESSING THE SINS OF MY FATHERS AND MYSELF

One of my most dear earthly homes, Rwanda is in a period of mourning from the horrific Genocide against the Tutsi in 1994.   In grief many emotions overwhelm us – denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance.   Grief that is caused by human sin must never be accepted as a cover up of the darkest actions of man.   Rightly, the victim’s blood cries out for generations for justice.   Yet, in the cries sometimes we deny our own dark places that make such horrific actions possible.   In true acceptance we seek to change our own lives, and resolve to make a world where human initiated horror is unlikely to ever happen again.

These seasons of grief bring us back to one of the oldest spiritual disciplines – confession and repentance.    God requires those of us who build after tragedy to humbly acknowledge the actions of our fathers and ourselves that created such tragedy.   A Diaspora builder of old confessed,

 “O Lord God of heaven, the great and terrible God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with

those who love him and keep his commandments; let thy ear be attentive, and thy eyes open, to hear the prayer of thy servant which I now pray before thee day and night … confessing the sins of the people… which we have sinned against thee. Yea, I and my father’s house have sinned.  We have acted very corruptly against thee, and have not kept the commandments… (Nehemiah 1:5-7, Revised Standard Version.)”

I am an American Mulokole (Evangelical / Saved One.)   My people have sinned greatly.

I have read the histories and listened to the stories of Africa’s Great Lake’s Bzee.   My people, the nation of America has sinned greatly.  We repeatedly manipulated political processes in Africa’s Great Lakes after Independence.  We supported regimes who repeatedly forfeited their moral authority for our gain of resources or political stability during the Cold War.   We cared little for the consequences upon the people of Africa’s Great Lakes.   During the Genocide we hid in nuances of grammar, legal technicalities, and political rhetoric.   We could have done more.   We were cowardly.

My people, the Balokole have sinned.   We retreated into a world of the spirit and forgot the affairs of men on earth.   When Independence came we did not offer a prophetic voice.   We did not participate in building of enduring institutions.  In the end, the killing fields of Rwanda were our own church buildings.

I have sinned.  From my childhood, Rwanda fascinated me.   My earliest Ugandan friends were Banyarwanda.   Yet, when I read hateful literature that masqueraded as academic reasoning I was silent.   When my Bazungu clan mates repeated mythology that would later justify Genocide I was silent.   When the Genocide began I did not write a single letter or make a single phone call to any government official who could have made a difference.

I offer my God and the people of Rwanda my deepest apologies.  I pray that my people and I will never act in a similar way again so help me God.

I WANT TO BE LIKE MWALIMU JULIUS NYERERE WHEN I GROW UP: UNFORGETTABLE REGIONAL GRIEF

As our family starts anew as missionaries to America some old memories fill my mind.   Many things happened during our 19 years in Africa that changed us as people.    One was watching East Africa grief in October, 1999 as Tanzania’s founding president, Mwalimu Julius Nyerere passed from this life to another.    His passing was headline news throughout the region.   Our leaders dropped all plans to rush to Tanzania to share in mourning.    The Tanzanians came out in millions to say goodbye.    There was an odd sense of quiet in our typically busy capital cities.   Our flags were at half mass.     

 

A few Western news agencies made commentaries on Mwalimu’s failings.    Yet I can’t remember an African commentator offering anything but a sense of gracious honor to Mwalimu.  

We were also in Uganda when Idi Amin Dada passed in August, 2003.    Some will argue that in Africa it is rude to speak ill of the dead.    Amin’s departure was an oddity of avoiding the obvious discussion points.   Yet, I am thankful I was in a region to watch these old antagonists pass.  They were very different men.   Our region knew the differences.    Mwalimu was forgiven and remembered with honor.   Amin was remembered and at best dutifully forgotten. 

I took note.  I made a choice.   I want to be like Mwalimu Julius Nyerere when I grow up.  

  

LEAD BY TEACHING

                The title the Tanzanians gave Julius Nyerere said it all.   He was Mwalimu (Teacher) to them.   His self-description was, “a schoolmaster by choice and a politician by accident."   Nyerere led by teaching first.   When he wrote the forward to Yoweri Museveni’s book, Sowing the Mustard Seed, he wrote, “The best African leader is a teacher.”   In a way it was a gentle self-promotion.   I frequently quoted Nyerere’s thought that leadership at its best is teaching.  Nyerere modeled teaching at its best – humbly present an idea, explain it well, use all the teaching aids at your disposal, and listen to your students to refine.  No African I knew ever disagreed with Nyerere’s assessment of leadership.    In fact, they all used the esteem of a good teacher to further explain leadership.

                My boss, Jesus of Nazareth had the same mantra.   He did many things, but teaching was core.

                I made a choice that teaching would be my leadership style.   I would avoid the hype of religious showman.   I would come prepared.   I would go to the front.   I would know my people by name and story.   I would teach with all the tools available – blackboard, paper notes, power point, etc…   I also would believe that my students had the capacity to do far greater things than I.

                To be like Mwalimu meant I led by teaching.  

TAKE RISKS FOR THE UNITY AND WELFARE OF PEOPLE

                All the commentaries on Nyerere come to Ujamaa – his failed socialist leaning collective farming endeavor.  It simply destroyed Tanzania’s economy.   Yet in grief the Tanzanians rarely mention Ujamaa.   Instead, they recognize the principle, ideals, and integrity of their beloved Mwalimu.    He took great risks for them.   

      

          Nyerere led a nation that had been a colonial neglect for more profitable Uganda and Kenya.   He built unity among over 120 different ethnic groups.    Other African nations fell into patterns of violence and strife.    Mwalimu’s internal spirit built unity and peace among the most diverse of people.  

                Peace was Nyerere’s legacy.   His love for people and peace confused my Bazungu clan mates.   It meant Mwalimu was loyal to diverse friends.   Yet, he was philosophically consistent.   His philosophy was love.  Pragmatically he built schools and hospitals.

                All men who lead will have failings.   I have many.   To be like Mwalimu means I take risks for my people that will lead to unity and peace.

STAND UP TO BULLIES

       

I knew 2 Bazungu in our Uganda days who befriended Amin

         Mwalimu had the strange misfortune to be a Pan-African idealist while he neighbored an eccentric and charismatic Pan-African, thug – Idi Amin.   Western commentaries don’t often mention what Ugandans consistently narrate.   Amin told great jokes, threw the best parties, married ethnically diverse beautiful women, had a large flamboyant hospitable family, and empowered Uganda’s indigenous entrepreneurs.    For those only following a leader who could make one happy in the day by day with little enduring principle, Amin was a compelling leader.  Amin chaired the Organization of African Unity in 1975, and made Mwalimu the butt of his jokes.   African nation-states blocked the UN from condemning Amin’s human rights abuses in 1977.  For a lonely season, Mwalimu was one of the very few African voices with the moral fiber to stand up to Amin.

                Amin overplayed his hand and invaded Tanzania in October, 1978.   Amin’s troops quickly took the disputed Akagera region.   However, Mwalimu mobilized the Tanzanian army from 40,000 to 100,000.   The war continued and Amin was defeated in 1979.

                Following the story from most history books misses what those of us who remember reading Drum know.   Standing up to bullies is not always popular.   Before Mwalimu defeated Amin many laughed at Mwalimu.    

                I want to be like Mwalimu when I grow up.   I want my principles to be stronger than contemporary populism.   I choose to have conflicts that are about enduring principles and the well being of people.   

APOLOGIZE SINCERELY

Almost all discussions of Mwalimu eventually come back to Ujamaa.   Tanzania suffered greatly

due to Nyerere’s failed economic policy.   To lead requires great strength of character.   You must believe in your policy.  Nyerere believed in equality, humility, and community.   An expression of these values was socialism.   Nyerere’s values endured.   His attempt at socialist pragmatism failed.   Mwalimu apologized.   He gave us his sincerity.   He was forgiven.   He was loved.   We honored him.   We stopped all for days to grief his passing.

                I want to be like Mwalimu when I grow up.   I want to have his courage and humility to publicly admit my mistakes.   I hope the people I lead will remember me as they remembered Mwalimu.   

RELINQUISH INSTITUTIONAL AUTHORITY TO RETAIN MORAL AUTHORITY

                Mwalimu’s peers had an opportunity to revolutionize Africa.   They were the first generation to break free from colonialism.   A few of their ideals still deeply live in our hearts.   Yet most were morally bankrupt failures.    They enriched themselves, promoted only their cronies, neglected building institutional strength, and clung to power until their last breath.

                Mwalimu was a devoted follower of my boss, Jesus of Nazareth.   He knew leadership

is only truly tested when it is relinquished.   Nyerere relinquished Tanzania's presidential leadership after 24 years.   The Lord gave him another 14 years of life.    Many believe his most productive years were his final ones where he carried no institutional authority.   Tanzania could not contain Mwalimu’s influence.   The institution of Tanzania’s presidency was too small for a man of his regional moral stature.  Only in the relinquishment could Mwalimu teach freely and widely.   His relinquishment was likely the reason our region grieved so deeply at his loss.   He was our teacher too.

                I want to be like Mwalimu when I grow up.   I want my people and institutions to endure without my continual presence.   I must relinquish too.